Flickering Lights
by RebeccaMagic9
Summary: Jack Frost was cold, and he was lost. Ever since he came into this cold and unfeeling world, he never experienced joy. Every time another person walked through him, the lights in his eyes flickered out a little more. One day, they flickered out completely. (Prequel to Blue Lights) WARNING! CONTAINS CHILD ABUSE/ABANDONMENT, STRONG MENTIONS OF RAPE, SELF HARM, AND OTHER DARK THEMES!


**3** **rd** **Person P.O.V.**

The white-haired teen had woken up underneath the ice.

 _Cold, but not cold too_

That was his first thought.

Then he saw a disk of light above him, flickering through the ice.

 _So bright_

That was his second thought.

 _Want the light_

That was his third thought. A crack sounded out around him and he felt himself being lifted from beneath the ice. He was lifted into the air. Borne from the icy pond with no memories, no name, no past. Just a newborn spirit birthed from the icy womb of Mother Earth and being held in her embrace for just a moment before being lifted up to his ethereal father, the Man in the Moon.

 _My son, your name is Jack Frost._

That wasn't the newborn spirit's thoughts, no, that was his ethereal and eternal father speaking to him. Those were the first and last words the newborn teen's father ever spoken to him.

The newly named Jack Frost was lowered down onto the ice, and his eyes began to fill with light as his ethereal father poured his moonlight into his son. The whited haired spirit danced around the ice with childish fun without noticing that Mother Earth was leaving him behind.

It wasn't long before he saw flickering lights in the distance.

 _What are those?_ He wondered.

He flew as fast as he could to the light. He wanted to learn more about this place, this place full of people. As he looked around in wonder, he hoped that these people would like him, he felt like he should remember them, he felt like he was in a dream.

When the first person walked straight through him, he felt colder than he could ever remember. He lost hope. He lost his wonder. He didn't want to remember this. This was no dream, but a living nightmare.

Above him, the Man in the Moon stared sadly at his newborn son, and watched as the light his 'son' had held in his ice blue eyes flickered violently.

 _What is happening?_

Despite seeing his 'son' in pain, the light in his eyes flickering with pain, the Man in the Moon did nothing.

For years, Jack Frost wandered across the world. He was lonely, he wanted a friend that could hear him. He was in pain whenever someone walked through him. The lights in his eyes slowly flickered out more and more until the candle burning within him flickered out completely. The wick smoked from where it had once been lit.

Jack Frost's world was tinged with blackness, he was lost without the light to guide him.

The lights in his eyes were just the start of the spirit dying.

His heart gave out next.

His heart froze with every time a person walked through him. It froze every time he was told to go away by one of the guardians or another. His heart froze until it was nothing but cold ice.

The winters grew colder and colder as Jack's heart froze until it was nothing but ice. Those winters were cold, bitter, and empty of all joy and light.

Jack sometimes wished that the other spirits understood him, could see the real him, but, Jack had given up hoping that the 'Guardians' of childhood would ever accept him long ago. He had figured out that he was physically around the age of fourteen, judging from his size and the average size of the teenage boys he tried to interact with. Yet, despite this, despite still being physically and mentally young enough to be considered a child, the guardians never helped him.

"Why? Why me? Why can't you just, tell me who I am?!" Jack would yell at night to the moon in the sky. He could feel the piercing gaze of the Man in the Moon, but he never received his answers.

The only thing that kept him going were the children.

Sometimes, he would pretend that they could see them, just so long as he didn't try to physically touch them, and it worked. He did his best to make all of them happy, to help them have fun, so their hearts did not become frozen, like his.

Sometimes, he noticed a black shadow following him, and it struck hot flashes of fear through his ice-cold heart. It made him want to run and hide from whatever the shadow was. His dark thoughts would become a mental prison when this shadow came near.

Sometimes, at night, the shadow would almost _caress_ his pure white hair, sending waves of burning heat down his spine. When that happened, Jack would flee to the nearest and coldest pond and submerge himself trying to get that heat away from him, but it was always in vain. He would uproot grass and dirt to try and take away the whiteness of his hair, believing that it was the reason that the shadows touched him, but the dirt and grass always slipped out, leaving his hair as pristine as ever.

Sometimes, Jack would hug the old, threadbare teddy that he had found beside his lake when he first woke up, and he would pretend that he was just like any other child, waiting for their parents to come home from work, waiting for the words 'I love you' or 'you are growing up too fast' or any other term of endearment. But all it would accomplish was to leave Jack even more depressed than before, because he would never hear those words directed at him.

There were times when Jack would try to drown himself in the icy waters of his lake, try to cut his pain away from himself, but nothing he did could relieve him of the ache in his frozen heart or relight the blown-out candle in his eyes.

Then, one day, EVERYTHING changed.

It was early on Easter morning, still before dawn, and Jack was walking through a sleepy town, somewhere in the United States.

That's when _it_ happened.

Jack was grabbed from behind, a hand slapped across his mouth, and dragged into a back alleyway. Jack tried to run from his attacker, but for once, this person didn't pass through him. Jack tried to shout, but no one heard his screams. His attacker stripped them both of their clothes, and violated Jack in more ways than he had ever known of.

In his panic, Jack tried to call on his powers, muted through his lack of staff, to drive his attacker off. Little did the embodiment of fun and winter know, but his panicked powers caused a blizzard, unlike anything anyone had seen except in the coldest reaches of winter, and his world turned to a blinding white.

Hours later, when the blizzard subsided, Jack was found by the Easter Bunny, and finally, his heart of ice, _shattered._ He had killed thousands, perhaps even millions, of people, including the children that Jack had tried so hard to fit in with.

Jack, simply lay there is the snow, as it was stained red with his blood while the embodiment of hope beat him almost to death, and beat out the last semblance of hope he had left, until there was nothing but emptiness. He made no move to defend himself, for he truly believed that he deserved the torture that was being inflicted upon him.

By the time E. Aster Bunnymund had left Jack for dead, Jack had already retreated far behind the walls in his mind. He picked himself up out of the snow, uncaring for the pain the bloomed like spring flowers throughout his broken body, and flew away.

Away from all people.

Away from all guardians.

Away from all his tormentors.

Away from everyone else in the world.

No one wanted him in this world, so he would stay away from them. No one liked him, so he would not torment them with his appearance. No one cared about him, so he would stop trying to gain attention. He would simply wait for the end of the world to take him with it, to end his pain filled life, to grant him peace.

A few days passed, and heat exploded in his bones, but Jack did not cry out, simply curled up in his icy cave and whimpered from the excruciating pain. Once it subsided though, Jack did not move from his curled up position, he stay huddled in a corner, hidden away from everyone and everything else in the world.

Months passed and his belly began to swell up slowly but surely, until Jack could not deny that he was carrying a life within him. Jack became very familiar with the stabs of heat that would crash through his small frame, and when the time came, he gave birth to a little baby girl as gentle snowflakes fluttered softly to the ground outside his cave.

"Snowflake. My gentle, beautiful, Snowflake. You would never hurt me," Jack whispered as he cradled the baby to his chest. As he held her, a light was relit in his eyes, because as he held her, she looked up at him with eyes full of light, innocence, and joy.

She became his _reason_ for existing.

His heart began to thaw, and winters began to become warmer. Joy and fun filled the world for the first winter in many decades.

Jack stayed strong for his little girl, for she was his world, and he was hers. Jack swore that he would always protect her from harm, protect her from becoming as lonely, lost, and forgotten as he had been.

However, there were still nights when Snowflake dozed in his arms when Jack would break down and cry over everything that he had endured, pleaded with the moon why he had to endure, why he even _had_ to exist.

Despite those hard nights, Jack found peace and life with his little girl, though he cried a river of tears when she stopped aging after seven years, but that just made him even more determined to protect her. They were Child Immortals, the bringers of Joy and Fun, and they would take care of each other, forever.

 **A/N: Hello to everyone reading this! This is a prequel to my One-shot 'Blue Lights' (if you haven't read it yet, go read it) and there may be more prequels coming, but let me know if you want another prequel, because I have some ideas. Thanks for reading and review about your thoughts, it is very much appreciated.**


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